Part 6: Final Thoughts

Part 6: Final Thoughts

Overall Review

I thoroughly enjoyed this book from start to finish. As I mentioned in my previous post, I appreciate the fact that Ken Dornstein took such an honest approach to writing this book. He reflects on all that he's learned from his brother's death in great depth. Due to such a personal and rough subject manner, I feel that most authors would shy away from being so open and detailed. That being said, I would highly recommend this book! It has become one of my favorite book that I know I'll refer back to for all the life lessons included throughout the pages. As for blogging, I thought it was the perfect platform for this project! A blog is a perfect place to share your opinions online on any subject that you're interested in. Since we were told to find a book that we were interested in, it's only natural for us to want to share it. I follow a few blogs of topics that intrigue me, so it was fun to be on the other side of the "blogging world". 

What I learned...

1. A total of two hundred and seventy people died in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. This includes everyone on the plane, as well a few people who were on the ground where it crashed in Lockerbie, Scotland.

2. The small town of Lockerbie is still trying to convince tourists and some locals that there is still some beauty to be found beyond the tragedy that occurred there. Many locals are still getting over the plane crash and the horrible consequences that their town has had to deal with since the event. The plane crashed about twenty-five years ago.

3. I learned, just like Ken, that the best lessons that we learn usually all come from the same source. That source being the unexpected. In life we encounter certain obstacles, but with time we realize why we came across them, due to the fact that everything happens for a reason. 

4. From reading this book I also learned more about the effect that siblings have on each other. Many of my sources were articles on this subject because I wanted to fully understand how David and Ken might have influenced one another. Siblings usually some friendly competition which pushes them to be the best that they can be.

5. Another lesson that I learned was the idea of not letting your past steal your future. I learned this through Ken's actions when he finally found closure with David and took the lessons he learned from the experience, but didn't continue to dwell upon losing his brother. He found a positive out a horrible situation and he carries that with him to this day.

Part 5: Moving On

Part 5: Moving On

Summary:

In the final section of The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky Ken meets up with the last of David's old friends/colleagues. The one that plays the biggest role in this section is Rina, an ex-girlfriend of David. Ken and Rina catch up over the phone and Ken schedules a trip to Israel to visit her. Later Ken learns that Rina is married with a two-year old. In Israel, Rina gave a few of David's old notebooks, that she had forgotten about, to Ken. Among these also includes a few recordings that David had left for Ken in college. After going through everything, Ken realizes that he needs to find closure when it comes to David. After a relaxing trip, spending time with Rina and her family, Ken returns to America and to his pregnant wife, K. His married life isn't what he expected it would be and it acts as just another reason to put an end to all his "David Research". Ken finds himself locked upstairs in his office, with a desk crowded with papers, pretending to be productive. His lack of income and finished projects causes much unneeded stress between him and K. K points out that he is losing himself due to trying to figure out every last detail about David. This proposition provokes a very important question in Ken's mind. Why? Why is he doing this? Why is he spending every minute of his life focussing on his dead brother's old life? In the last section of this book, Ken describes his thought process during this time. He goes in depth about the stress he is dealing with, how he overcomes it, and he sums up the book with a letter he wrote to David, many years after his death. This is Ken's way of saying that he'll always have David in his heart, but it's time for him to move on. Ken finally understands that in order to honor David, he doesn't have to spend all is time trying to connect the puzzle pieces of his brother's life. No. In order to honor David he must do what David always wanted him to do; live his life.

Ken with his son (Taken by K) 

Review:

This was by far my favorite section! Ken summed up his whole experience and what he learned over the last few years in a short and sweet section. It makes it easier for the reader to then remember his lessons and apply them to their daily life. I'm so grateful that Ken took an honest approach to his writing, because it allows the readers to feel involved with the story and learn along with all the characters. This section also serves as one of my favorites mainly because Ken finally seems happy and appreciative of his situation. Instead of repeating to himself that "everything will okay", he now knows that everything is already okay. 

Ken Dornstein NOW

Focus: Why do you think Ken finally decided to put an end to his research? 

I think that Ken's visit to Israel impacted his decision to move on. Seeing Rina with her new life as a mother and wife probably showed Ken that it's okay to move on from somebody you love, because that's most likely what they wanted you to do. After experiencing first-hand how Rina focussed all her attention of her child and husband, and how that translated to a happier life, gave Ken the idea of doing the same for himself and K. I'm sure it was a bittersweet moment for Ken, finishing this book and packing away David's old notebooks. All of his research of David took up a long period of time! It became his life. I think that Ken started doing this because David always pointed out their similarities. David, being as creative and intelligent as he was, could've amounted to so much. Maybe Ken thought that if he researched the entirety of David's past, that he could pick up from where David left off, and follow that road to success. I'm glad that Ken finally realized that the main thing that he has in common with his brother is determination. Determination will get you far in life. It would've gotten David far in his life, and after Ken learned that that's what David saw in both of them, it has gotten Ken far in his life. Just because they share the same trait, Ken finally realized that the beauty of determination is that it can be applied to anything. David wasn't expecting Ken to become him, he was expecting him to learn from his mistakes, and become a "better him". 

Sources: 

1. The actual recording that David made for Ken that documented his college life: 

http://boywhofelloutofthesky.com/2006/03/welcome_sort_of.html

2. A New York Times review on this book. I found it interesting to compare their thoughts on the book to my own.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/19/books/19grim.html?_r=0

3. Ken summing up his experience:
http://www.boywhofelloutofthesky.com/media/preview.html

Part 4: Rushing Into Life

Part 4: Rushing Into Life

Summary

  At the start of the forth section, David left for Israel, where he stayed for a few months, studying at Hebrew University. David thought that all of his years studying were just prep for possibly becoming  a rabbi, but the night before he took off, he persuaded himself that he is a simply a writer, and "the Old Testament is the foundation of Western Literature." From Israel, he ventured into Paris, and later absorbed a little more of European culture before returning home to New York. In the big city, David was switching jobs at a rapid pace. The only thing that his jobs had in common was that they all consisted of him doing busy-work. He considered himself, an "errand boy".  As troubling as that might sound, the only person who wasn't bothered by the constant job switching was David. His friends moved on and began working their ways up to the top of their businesses, starting families, etc., while David wasn't really going anywhere. After David's death, Ken met up with Billy, David's old friend. What started out as a nice, casual catch-up, ending up being more like an interrogation. Billy concluded that Ken is similar to David in the fact that they both didn't mind not having a stable career. He thinks the Dornstein brothers enjoy slacking off and taking the easy way out of things. This negative outburst ended their meeting...
In other news, David gets back together with K and out of nowhere he proposes to her and the wedding was scheduled a month later. Already the marriage is off to a rocky start, which isn't much of a surprise. 


Review: 

I enjoyed this section, just like the previous ones, but for some reason not as much. I feel that this section is the "conflict" section in the book. Ken came to the realization that, just like David was, he isn't really moving forward in his life. Plus, on a whim he married K, and it's just causing him more stress. In all honesty, it appears to me that Ken isn't thinking much before his actions. I find it rather frustrating. However, just the last three sections, this one didn't fail to showcase Ken's writing ability. The description he uses is simply put, spectacular. I feel like I know the characters personally, which is probably why I'm feeling slightly irritated with Ken's actions.

David Dornstein

Focus: How different do you think Ken's life would be if David had never died? 

Clearly losing someone who you're close to is a tragic affair. Most people go through an extreme amount of depression when something that horrible happens to them. However Ken was different. Obviously he was saddened by the tragedy, however right off the bat, he chose to take the positive route. That being said, this shows the strength that Ken possessed even before his brother's death. This proves that he would still be the strong person he is, if David was still alive. I think David's death opened up Ken mind to endless possibilities of life. Though we will never know for sure, I feel that, with David still here, Ken would've gotten a job, that he'd probably hate after a few years, and he'd feel to scared to deal with the burden of life's uncertainties to leave it for one he liked. I understand that David was lost at one point, as far as discovering what he really wants out of his life, but I also think that letting himself wander about and be free was leading him closer to what he was born to do. If David had never died, Ken wouldn't have picked up writing, because he wouldn't feel the need to follow his older brother's footsteps. No. I'm sure if David was still alive and someone asked him to write, Ken would think of it as a waste time. Without David, Ken turned to writing and found his true calling. 

Here are some sources that helped put me in the character's shoes:

Stuck In A Career Rut

Exploring Israel

Part 3: Left-Over Dreams

Part 3: Left-Over Dreams

Summary

A symbol for going separate ways

In the third (and longest) section of The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky Ken's relationship with K continues to be rocky. They break up briefly in the beginning of the section but later realize their reasoning to do so was pointless, which results in them getting back together. They begin living with each other and though Ken enjoys living with her, he finds himself more and more insecure as the days go on. Everyday morning, before Ken is even out of bed, K is out in the world with her to-do list for the today almost done. With a lack of inspiration and just a bunch of jumbled thoughts, Ken finds himself with a serious case of writer's block, which he begins to realize may be more of a life-block. He doesn't know what he wants anymore, or even if he's happy. The fact that K has her life together and a clear vision of how she wants her future to be stresses out Ken, mainly due to the fact that he's in the opposite position. However somehow Ken finishes his book (which he wasn't proud of) and it seems to me that he might've finished it in order to prove to K that he's not as lazy as he seems. Whatever the situation was Ken stated that even though he whipped out a book and K got her doctorate and her future was looking brighter than ever, they saw "a relationship that wasn't moving"(157).  When the break up occurred no real sadness went along with it; it was mostly a feeling of relief. That being said, they moved on and Ken found himself more interested in David's past than ever before. He relocated David's notebooks and when he came across a page of David's old contacts, he decided to connect with them.  In meeting with a few of David's college friends, sharing "David stories" and the impact he had on them, leaves Ken hungry for more information and inspired to write a new book. This one, he decides, will be about David. The last contact on Ken's list is a man named Bill Donoghue. He's an old neighbor who played a major role in the Dornstein brother's childhoods. Being the father of David's childhood best friend he knows and has remembered many quirky details that have managed to escape Ken's mind. Bill and Ken meet up over coffee and after their discussion, Ken is blown away from all the similarities that were pointed out between him and David. 

An old photo taken of David by one of his college friends that Ken later met up with

Review:

Once again this book proved itself to be a good read! The little stories about Ken and David's childhood were heartwarming and even more so, is the fact that those memories have played a part in who Ken is today. I must admit, since never fully being a fan of the K and Ken relationship, that I was relieved to see them separate. Call me cold-hearted, but I just see them better as friends. Though this section was long, it kept me entertained the whole way through due to the relationship drama regarding K and Ken's "ah-hah" moments. I'm excited to see what Ken's future holds because after this section he has never seemed to motivated and in charge of his life. I think the reasoning behind that is he finally found something he's passionate about; David. I know David has obviously had a huge impact on him but I think when Ken discovered that he could write about David in his new book, his writer's-block and "life-block" was lifted. 

David's College Graduation- His drive inspired Ken.

Focus Question- Explain the impact that siblings have on each other. How does this relate to Ken and David's relationship?

Whether or not we'd like to admit it, our siblings have a huge impact on us and inevitably shape who we are. I'm not saying that we all share the exact same traits as our siblings, however what we learn from each other are the lessons that will never fade. One author wrote, that siblings are "our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them." Each sibling plays a different role. In most cases the oldest is the role model/protector while the younger sibling is a little more careless but makes every decision with the thought of " What would my older sibling think?" before doing so. I feel like this couldn't be more true with Ken and David. David was always looking out for Ken. He was always writing him letters asking him how he was doing. David had so much faith in Ken. He even said that one day Ken would a much better writer than he would ever be. I'm sure Ken was honored by the statement and that little statement could of very well influenced his decision to become a writer. Being the younger sibling myself, I can definitely relate the strong desire to make your older sibling proud of you. It's almost like you owe it to them. I say that because they are constantly looking after you, making sure you're alright, so to make them proud is a perfect way to show that they're hard work has paid off and that you are doing just fine. This book is Ken's message to David thanking him for getting him to the point where he is now. 

Sources:

I used these sources to discover more about the impact that siblings have on each 
other...
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/articles/2009/07/31/7-ways-your-siblings-may-have-shaped-you

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1209949,00.html

Part 2: Katherine V.S K

Summary

The second section of the book follows Ken as he begins an unexpected relationship with his brother's ex-girlfriend, Kathryn. She was David's girlfriend while he was in college and also his most significant girlfriend after Rina. After the death of David, Ken saw Kathryn twice in the first month and after a year or so they encounter each other at Penn Station, while both looking for a ride to Philadelphia. Once all settled on their transportation, they spent the whole way talking and getting to know each other. Interestingly enough, the topic of David never once surfaced. It was during this moment when Ken began to fall for the a girl named K. 

David and Kathryn (1982)

"A clarification: I do not refer to K as "K" in order to mask her identity. K's name is Kathryn. I call her K in order to differentiate her as a significant character in two different stories, mine and my brothers" (74). 

Many of David's notebook entries were  dedicated to Kathryn, as she was his first real love. She was his biggest support system regarding his writing. Ken obviously knows this too from all the "research" he's done of looking through David's old notebooks. That being said, both him and Kathryn have yet to announce their relationship to the rest of their families. 

Review

I found this section to be very interesting! Just like the last section this book proved itself once more as being impossible to put down. However as "interesting" as I deemed it, I also found ridiculously strange that Ken ended up having a romantic relationship with David's one and only, Kathryn. Through David's old journal entries and Ken's words, she truly sounds like an incredible girl, but I still wrap my head around one brother dating his older brother/best friend's old girlfriend. Both Ken and Kathryn would probably understand my point of view because in the section I've read, they have yet to tell their families about their newfound interest in each other. Apart from that, it is clear that Ken has picked up a few tricks from David because his writing is very descriptive and sophisticated. I am looking forward to see where his life is headed next... With or without Kathryn.

Ken and David on vacation in Florida (1974)

Focus: Author's Point of View and Purpose

Right off the bat, Ken confesses to the reader that he has started this book "a hundred times in the years since David died". With that honest mention it is clear that the subject he's addressing in the book, is a difficult one to relive. Obviously he plays a role in the story as it was his brother, and best friend, that he lost in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. Ken tells the story of his life after David. This story embodies the good, the bad, as well as the overall confusion that he experiences while trying to find himself again. One author wrote that it is "A heartbreaking, deeply personal memoir of a brother's quest to know the unknowable, to make sense for what doesn't make sense...". Though I may be wrong, I think this book is a collection of all of the notes Ken took about what he went through after David's death. A bunch of miscellaneous notes is probably all he started with and he might have not known how to connect them all. He wanted to write and honor his older brother but most likely realized that his quest to connect with his David is just as worthy as being told. I'm glad he decided to share his journey with the world as he's showed us that the best lessons we learn all come from the same source; the unexpected. 

Check out the NY Times and this article on the Aviation Security on the Pan Am Flight.

I found these sources very helpful... With them I was able to learn even more about the bombing, which made me feel more connected with story, seeing how tragic it really was and the reasons behind it. 

Part I: Reality Hits

Part 1: Reality Hits

Summary 
The Boy Who Fell Out of the Sky makes an impact from the start with Ken Dornstein, the narrator, reliving the moment he learned that his brother had died. It was the twenty-first of December in 1988 and it just happened to be while Ken, a twenty year old college student, was home on his winter break. His older brother, David was what Ken considered a better version of himself. "He was older, bigger, wiser, more daring, more passionate, better spoken, and much better looking. He traveled farther away from home than I ever imagined I would. I admired him." David, a writer who hoped his words would make an impact on the world,was on board Pan Am Flight 103 and was among the two hundred and seventy people to die that day. The flight was a transatlantic flight from New York City to London that went down due to a bombing. In the section I've read so far, Ken's strength to finally go through his brother's belongings was showcased. He finally decided to go in David's old room and read some of his writing. Hundreds of filled composition books were opened and Ken gained the knowledge that his brother never considered himself a good enough writer to publish any of his work. Later in the section, Ken decides to meet up with some of David's friends that he met while on his travels. This includes David's ex girlfriend from Isreal, Rina. They form an unexpected friendship and bond through their memories with David.

Flight 103 Route

Ken Dornstein

Location of the crash in Lockerbie, Scotland

Review
I couldn't be happier with my book selection! Though it covers a sad topic, it's a perfect example of how to reflect on the negative times in your life with a positive and open mind. By doing this, every so called "bump in the road" is simply just another chapter in YOUR story. Every passenger on Flight 103 had friends and family that were affected, so I appreciate that Ken is opening up and telling how he was affected through his brother's main passion; writing. I also love the fact that Ken made the decision to connect with Rina as I feel that their meet-up helped them both personally and it was a way celebrate David's life. I'm excited to keep reading this book and learn more about the story of the Dornstein's, as well as more valuable life lessons.

Focus: Questions
Here are a few of the questions that came up while reading:

• How did Ken's father remain so calm during the phone call regarding his son's tragic death?
• Where is Ken and David's mom? Were they raised by a single father? 
• If so, does this have anything to do with they handle situations?
• What was Ken's profession in college? Did he perhaps change it to English to honor and "get closer" to his brother?
• When Ken traveled to Lockerbie to see where the plane crashed, what was he expecting to find?
• Is Rina and Ken's relationship transforming from a friendship to a romance? I hope not!

Sources

Here are links to find out more information about Pan Am Flight 103:

Minute by Minute-Pan Am Flight 103 Video

Pan Am Flight 103 Wikipedia